Good for you, Dorothy. You clicked your heals, or rather the “more” link, and it’s high-time you did.

Wake up.

You awake now? Great. Because, frankly, if I bought into any of those 10 reasons (or 100 more I could conjure up), I’d be a bum on the street dying of Type 2 Diabetes.

Oh, I’m back with a vengeance.

No bums allowed here at 10. No excuses. No whiners. No quitters. No lying to yourself and to everyone around you.

This is the real deal. I will accept no others. Log the - - - - off if you aren’t ready to nuke every one of those “reasons” like Oppenheimer on a bender.

Look that up if you have to.

I’m angry, and you better be, too. Not angry with myself…I’m angry over the lies we all buy in to. Enough.

ENOUGH.

Here…I’m going to dismantle each of the above LIES right now. Lest you think I’m a “positive thinker”…well, if you call me that I’ll verbally slap you silly. I’m a truthful thinker and you must be, too…that is if you want to get the job done, shed that fat for good, and start living the life you want. As in now.

There is no tomorrow, folks.

Stolen from Rocky III, but it’s the truth. There is no tomorrow.

So, here we go. Print out that spew of the minions of the evil one (my “top 10”) and compare it to the “Reality 10” below:

1. Let me tell you one of the greatest things I learned from Tony Robbins: the past does not equal the future. Who you will be in a matter of months will, on a cellular level, be a completely different individual. Skin cells, for instance, last about two weeks, and our stomach lining molts once a month. You’ll have a new liver on the cellular level in less than a year. In short, if your body is programmed to constantly adapt and change, you have no excuse not to follow its lead. Ironically, the only organ scientists have not managed to regenerate in mice is the brain. Therefore, change is in the mind…and you had better wake up your mind to the fact that you CAN and MUST change. It’s part of life. Therefore, you can always alter your outcome. It may take a month, a day, or a year…who cares? Do it.
2. No one (except Michael Jackson perhaps) is a “loser”…and telling yourself that even in slang is akin to saying, “Hey, I’m a walking cancer cell!” Not exactly the best of ideas. You can experience “loss”, but you cannot “be” something you experience. Some of the greatest men and women in history have downright scary histories of loss…yet they also changed the world. Look up Lincoln’s history for example. “The worst speech ever made…there can be nothing more absurd ever put to paper by mortal pen.” A review of one of Lincoln’s speeches…The Gettysburg Address.
3. My doctor held the Cooper Clinic record for the brutal Balke Stress Test for years: 34 minutes, if I recall. He’s 77. He did that at 65, and again at 70. Give me a f-n break. Old? Just read Fit Over 40 and then tell me what “old” even means. Humans can easily live to 120; we know that. Some are speculating that with some genetic assistance, 200 is possible within 50 years. Then midlife would begin at 100. Hmmm…old? Right. 77-year-old Pax Beale would kick my ass in the gym, and if you think I’m being “kind”, your nuts. At 67, he took “Mr. Hulk” Lou Ferrigno to the cleaners in a back workout.
4. Hey, try something for me, but only if you’re in GOOD condition: see how many one-legged free squats you can do before you collapse like a flan in a cupboard. (Thanks Eddie.) I could put you through an in-home, no-weight workout that would leave you flat on the floor no matter how advanced you are. The secret? Desire. Desire has always been and always will be the secret to success.
5. And McDeath’s is cheap? I did the math: I can eat 5 meals for what most Americans pay for 3. Even on a tight food budget, raw grains, chicken, eggs, and veggies are hardly bank-breakers. Check this out: I’ve yet to meet a client who was unable to discover at least $100 a month in “hidden income”…just a tweak here an there. Count the trips to Starbucks, then do the math. Then go eat something good that you fix yourself.
6. Willpower. Tell me something: if you enjoyed every meal you consumed, exactly how much willpower would you need to succeed on a “diet”? NONE! And, I do. So can you. Yes. Really. No one is ‘better’ than you, as we’re all the same and all capable of diverse contributions. While some are smarter in areas, others excel in others. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to succeed at 1 pound of fat per week on average…just the burning desire to keep going.
7. My genes suck, and I DO mean suck. I get fat in the worst places you can think of for a guy. I have dismal bloodwork (or had.) Now, I admit, I ended up with good “bodybuilding” genes (not for bulk, but for symmetry), but my fat genes are like rebellious teens on crack. The solution: WORK YOUR ASS OFF. (Look that up as well if you’re under 27…check “work ethic” and “history”. Heh…slackers.)
8. Everyone has an hour a day. Doubt me? Challenge me. I’ll prove it to you. I run 2 companies, co-own two others, write this daily diatribe, and I have hours in my day to spend doing what I want. I set my life up that way, but just because you may not have doesn’t mean that hour isn’t yours. Look for it. Get up a whopping 15 minutes earlier, and go to sleep 15-30 minutes later. There. 45 minutes. Remove a coffee break and 5 minutes at lunch and presto…gym time. Actually, you’ll need about 30-40 minutes tops in the gym if you do it the MasterMeals way.
9. Right. Well Mr. Deity, here’s a news flash: you know those “7 Deadly Sins” you hear so much about? One of them deals specifically with obesity: gluttony. The other is a kindred spirit: sloth. Don’t give me some pious reason to be a flabby priest, okay? Doesn’t fly…God made the body and I don’t think He is too fond of you shoveling crap your dog won’t eat down its gullet.
10. You cannot lose a friend; they were never a friend, or they will stick by you assuming you don’t kill their puppies or drive over their mailbox. Cut the negative people lose like a bad habit. Plus, you’ll have a world of new friends who will support your goal. Oh, one more thing: who’s epitaph to you want carved on your tombstone — your own or your friend’s rendition of your life? Yeah, me too. My life, my will, my choices…and to play in my sandbox, you better be prepared not to doo-doo on my paws.

“Oh, Jon isn’t being funny today…” Yeah, that’s me: always keeping you on your toes. Basically I love ya and want to see you fully engaged, alive and empowered.

Sometimes that means a good slap. In this case, it’s merely cold water thrown on the face of Mr. Liar, that silly jerk who lives in (and will soon be evicted from) your mind.

Wednesday, November 2nd

My MasterMeal Plan

MM1: Organic beef cooked in organic beef broth with brown rice, veggies mixed in, and 1/3 yam (recipe coming)

MM2: Protein bar (on the road)

MM3: Beef and broccoli

MM4: Jon’s Tuna Concoction

MM5: TBD

Click here to view my recipes

Kill the lies, just don’t kill the liar. {10}