Getting my groove back
You could offer me half the Saudi family jewels (the real ones) and I still wouldn’t subject myself to How Stella Got Her Groove Back. I can’t imagine the torment. I have tried to picture old torture techniques to give me a frame of reference, but even they seem to pale in comparison to 90 minutes of…THAT.
Only a sequel would be more devastating to the ecosystem.
The first thing that darted through my wacko wittle brain while penning the title of this blog was the Radiohead lyric:
Karma police
Arrest this man…
However, in fairness, it was probably not related to cinematic nightmares, but the fact I happened to be listening to “Karma Police” when writing this part of the blog. You think there’s a connection?
A bad movie is…well, beyond ‘bad’ to me. Call it “artistic integrity” or just being a picky bastard, but I will gladly stroll out of a theater rather than sit through, say, “The Ring II”. Different genre of film, but same Blockbuster header: Sucks Like Wicker Furniture. Yeah, you have Action, Drama, Comedy…and new to Blockbuster, Sucks Like Wicker Furniture. Think of the time we’d all save.
Now, tell me…is there anyone alive frightened by this nonsense? I mean…what the hell? All horror film directors should be arrested if they haven’t seen Jacob’s Ladder, or the first Alien flick. You know…stuff that’s really disturbing and/or scary. The Jacko these days they call “horror films” wouldn’t scare a monk with anxiety disorder.
Oh, I’ve walked man…I’ve walked. I’ve done it on dates, dragging them out on a flimsy excuse like “food poisoning” or “epileptic seizure, babe.” They usually fall for it. I’m like that Komodo dragon from Gary Larson’s Far Side: a filthy liar, at least when it comes to escaping films from hell.
This blog isn’t about horrible movies, fear not, but about my groove. It doesn’t suck. It doesn’t require special lighting or a soundtrack that the SS only wish they had access to in 1943. No, this only requires a shift of thinking…and a wee bit of strategy.
I plan to finish this entry tomorrow. Well, actually today, as it’s 3:30am…but I’m that dedicated to you guys. Really, now…don’t you think you should stop what you’re doing right now and send me some money? Sure. That’s the right thing to do. I’ll even send you something in return.
God, what a guy.
Here’s the short story: I’m now ready to begin training on a 4-day split. I’ll be planning my workouts for the next 12 weeks tomorrow, hitting each major body part once per week over 4 days. The trick here will be to train legs only once every 14 days. The same for biceps and triceps.
I can hear the gasps right now…but you can stop that. It annoys me. Thank you.
First of all, my legs and triceps respond very quickly to training, plus they’re trained frequently enough with chest and delts work (tris) and cardio work (legs.) Second, I’m not ready for a Monday-Friday split that will allow for my 7 Minute Muscle protocol. That will take place in about 12 weeks…perhaps sooner.
I will also be kicking my nutrition into high gear.
Details tomorrow…oh, one more thing: I put my “fat pants” on tonight. Remember that exercise? Have you done it? If not, go. Right now. Do it.
12 days ago they were so snug that I had to unbutton the top button to make them comfortable, but they were wearable. Now I can pull them off without unbuttoning the top button. That’s about 2” gone in the most stubborn place I carry fat. I had to go to my next pair. I have two pairs under that. After that, I’m a lean mutha.
So I’m psyched and ready to crank it up. How about you? We’re coming up on the half-way point in our 10 weeks this week — at least for those of you who started with me on day one.
Success is sweet. Share it with me, one and all. {10}
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Comments (14)
Alyson said:
Congrats on your progress Jon! And thanks for setting the bar high for the rest of us.
I am 8 pounds of unwanted fat down from where we started, but up a pound and a half from before Turkey Day. I admit I did NOT stick to my food plan, ‘tho I didn’t stray that far. I did, however, respond emotionally and negatively to the fact that a)winter has officially arrived in SW NY (we got 2 FEET of snow over Thanksgiving. Hate the white stuff, hate having to live with it for the next 4 months at least…)and b)since I separated last January, I am facing the holidays ‘single’ for the first time, and it’s challenging me in ways I didn’t expect really. So, after a few days of feeling out of sorts and very alone, and making some poor food choices, I decided to do something proactive to change my mindset. Naturally this involved turning to MPower and your audios for inspiration. I’ve spent the last couple of days in solitude, re-listening to audios. Synchronicity and Ruthless Responsibility especially. (I found that I had never done the homework assigned with Synchronicity!) So I spent my Saturday night doing that very thing. Altho’ sometimes I have a hard time quieting the voices in my head that are shouting ‘loser, home alone AGAIN on a Saturday night’ :), last night was spent in productive introspection, painting the picture of the life I want one year from now.
Thank you for the amazing stuff in all of your audios. Every time I re-listen to any of them, something new or previously ‘unheard’ hits home. Clarity will win over confusion. And a reminder to you other humans out there—enjoy the audios but don’t forget to actually DO THE HOMEWORK :)
Posted on Nov 27, 2005 07:59 AM
Alyson said:
P.S. How Stella Got Her Groove Back wasn’t a total waste….I was soooo impressed with Angela Bassett in that film! I came away from that flick thinking she is an exceptional fitness role model for women in general, but especially those of us over 40. :)
Posted on Nov 27, 2005 08:06 AM
Elisa said:
Jon, I saw Terry McMillian on Oprah, the author of Stella and a bunch of other similar books. I figured she’d be more articulate or something but she was actually sort of immature and bratty. Weird. At any rate, I couldn’t relate to her books or those movies. I am a woman and am supposed to “bond” with that sort of thing but I felt it was mush in a bucket.
Can’t wait to hear more about 7 Minute Muscle as it is used in practice. I think I am pre-signed up for it but if not, I will be. I remember you mentioning that it will be out soon.
The FAT jeans. Ok, so I have the jeans I was wearing when we started this five weeks ago. Last week on Monday, I took them to the dry cleaners to be hemmed (tired of walking on the bottoms and I am short so this is a recurring problem. Do they think petite women are 6”4? That’s what you get when men who like men are designing clothes for women but I digress).
I got the jeans back from alterations and like yours, they were a snug fit before I brought them in, now, I can pull them down on my hips like hip huggers. I could probably pull them off but don’t want to stretch them out and make them bigger. I still want to wear them ;-).
I went back to my heart rate monitor logs to look at my body weight (there is a tab for putting in your weight and some measurements if you care to) and I’m mistaken on the total fat pounds I’ve dropped. I figured I’d lost 2 and about the same number of inches. I’ve lost 4 actually and about 2.5 inches. This is probably because I was really weighing myself more in the beginning because it was warmer and I usually dehydrate more quickly on my long runs, etc. As I mentioned before, I think the SCALE IS HELL and never really use it unless it’s warm out and I’m doing a lot of outdoor activity.
Nevertheless, it helped solidify the progress I didn’t even “technically” know I’d made though the fat pants are a true test. When I started the Challenge, I only wanted to lose 7 lbs. of fat. Having already worked with you Jon, I’d already lost most of the rest of it. I want to see the fat to muscle ratio in TA DA … three more pounds to see if I look the way I want to before I delve further into the fat loss.
I have packed on some muscle too! I can see definition I’ve never seen before and that’s very encouraging. This is especially true in my arms, ABs and Back. Places I’d resigned myself to never really seeing muscles take shape until M-Power! Getting your head right is WHERE it’s AT!
Alyson, hang in there. I lived with my best friend through her divorce and for six years after. The first year was the worst for her as well.
I used to “force” her off the couch and out of the house. As you describe here, it really had an impact on her in very subtle ways. She later told me that she appreciated me dragging her to the gym. She got fit, stayed that way and had an outlet for her emotions. She also said it was a good way to keep from being depressed.
Be kind to yourself during this process. I think it’s fantastic that you can be so honest with yourself and dedicated that you’d go back and revisit M-Power and the homework. I do the same thing because I change. My attitude changes and like you, I hear what I need when I listen to it again, something I did not hear before. So I am moved in a new way.
Sounds like you are on the road to getting what you want. I think that’s awesome. Hang in there, it gets better. I’ve seen it happen.
Updates to the exercise and eating program (I like reporting in ;-)): I ran 10 miles yesterday. I was supposed to run 16 but my body needed a break so I gave it one. I ran 10 miles in 1:26. Not too shabby! No weight training yesterday as I felt the run was enough. Today is my rest day.
I am having dinner with the same best friend I lived with during her divorce. We’re going to a new seafood restaurant. My friends are so funny! They know how I eat and don’t suggest eating out unless I can get something healthy. So that’s the only meal that will be alternate but still won’t be off the MasterMeals plan. Fish and veggies aren’t such a bad thing ;-).
Off to eat meal two as the Blackberry is chiming….
Posted on Nov 27, 2005 09:08 AM
Tammy said:
Your determination and tenacity impresses and inspires me, Jon. I did well over T-Day with my eating and have stepped up the exercise. I listened to some Classic Rock while on the treadmill this morning and ended up half dancing! Thank goodness I have the exercise room to myself. Music gets me to do SO much more and last night I danced for 3 hours to a Rock/Blues band! I managed to pull a few people up from their seats and move, too! That was just as much fun. I tried on a pair of jeans that were tight 2 weeks ago and now are comfortable so I am excited to get down to one more size, but more importantly feel my energy, strength and stamina improve more. The coffee before working out in the morning really seems to help. A problem I am having is about l hour after exercising I am wanting to go back to bed. I feel great for that hour after but then I seem to crash. I only like to eat fruit in the morning but I suspect that isn’t enough? I am psyched for a blow out last half of the 10 in 10 and love starting out the New Year with the continuation of the success I have achieved during the 10 weeks BEFORE, keeping healthy and fit versus getting healthy and fit. It’s like cruisin’ down the highway while everyone else is sputtering to get out of reverse on a steep hill they let themselves roll down during the holidays. If only EVERYONE was involved in your 10 in 10; imagine the peace and goodwill towards each other that would be present not hating their bodies and having their energies sucked up by that negativity and scarcity. What a wonderful world in could be… Thanks for keeping me in integrity.
Posted on Nov 27, 2005 09:17 AM
Tammy said:
Alyson, keep up your hard work and determination. It is great you see the importance of taking care of yourself and using that experience to learn and grow. The greatness you hold will only shine more and more, and yes, M-Power is awesome in getting us there! I also re-listen to the audios and hear and learn more each time. The personal growth and awarenesses I have come to realize keeps me grounded and from sinking back into the depression. Keep on cruisin’ and best wishes.
Posted on Nov 27, 2005 09:25 AM
Lori said:
Hey Jon
I can really feel the energy of your last blog. A good plan, fueled by success and movement in a positive direction. It’s contagious, so keep it coming. I love having “high” days like that, but they come when they come and I haven’t figured out how to keep them around. I just take the good with the bad, knowing there are more good days around the corner. On the not so great days, I remember a phrase that I picked up from my mom before she died. She was an alcoholic with 12 years sobriety when she died (not alcohol related). She and her AA buddies used to say “fake it ‘til you make it”. On the days when I am feeling low in energy and motivation, I “fake it”. As simple as it sounds, it works. Kind of tricks your body into feeling good.
Have a great day, all. And if you’re not, fake it!
Posted on Nov 27, 2005 12:34 PM
Lee said:
Do let us know, Jon, if the dizziness issue rears its ugly head. And great to hear about the loose jeans - motivates me to go out and buy stock in Target as you’ll have to be heading there soon to get new clothes!
I’ve started in with chin-ups after a few months’ break and only slightly fear the sore lats tomorrow. However I do look forward to placing first in the Great Chin-up Challenge, wink wink nudge nudge! As it is I can hardly sit after starting a new lunge exercise routine.
More M-power to everybody!
Posted on Nov 27, 2005 02:26 PM
Gabe said:
Hey 10ers… keep up the great work in both the gym and mind!
Question for any/all:
Any truth to dairy products slowing down metabolism?
Posted on Nov 27, 2005 03:18 PM
Jon Benson said:
Okay, perhaps I was a bit hard on “Stella”…and I like Angela Bassett just fine. The whole “Mrs. Robinson” gig just…well…ugh. It’s been done…much better. And this was a chick flick, so give me a break there. We coo? We coo…
Gabe; no truth. Dairy can be good, bad, or neutral depending on your metabolic type, but contains no hidden gremlins that shunt the metabolic furnace. If so, Clarence Bass would be fat rather than 5% body fat for 40 years.
I personally use dairy sparingly (like a bit of sour cream) and do not depend on it for more than 5% of my nutrition. Dairy has some major issues that are worthy of debate, and is technically not a “natural” food unless consumed raw. Raw dairy is fine in my book, but I do understand the vegan argument against it more-so than the argument against grass-fed beef.
Bottom line: go easy on the dairy, and use it for flavor or in a quality protein drink (whey) after your workouts. Stick to whole foods as much as possible.
Posted on Nov 27, 2005 03:28 PM
Kenny said:
Hey Alyson, hang in there.
Speaking from experience from six years ago, I too was suddenly single (separation/divorce) and went nuts from being alone.
Then, a guru I was listening to at the time suggested that ‘you’re only lonely, if you don’t like who you’re alone with.’
I decided to use my ‘alone’ time to really get to know myself and work on myself.
I didn’t even care if I was alone on a Saturday night.
And now, to be honest, sometimes I cherish being able to be alone on a Sat. night.
Heck, it’s just another night.
Plus, with M-Power as your guide, I KNOW you’re going to be GREAT….in NO TIME! ! !
Posted on Nov 27, 2005 03:53 PM
Jon Benson said:
To Alyson:
Sorry girl…I read these comments a bit too quickly. Thanks Kenny for your feedback to Alyson…helped me wake up a bit!
Alyson, believe me, I know the feeling. I kid around (a lot) on this blog, as that’s part of the gig, but in all seriousness I think I know “lonliness” better than most people.
Yet, I feel it far less these days than ever before, despite external factors remaining unchanged.
Perhaps this wil help…don’t know. I’ll give it a shot:
I was born a poor black chil…no, wait: that was Steve Martin in The Jerk.
I was born an ‘only’ child to older parents. My mom and dad tried to conceive for 16 years. I was quite the little surprise after two miscarriages. However, my dad was already well into his 40s, and my mom 39 at the time I was born. So basically I grew up with my “grandparents”, although I have NO complaints whatsoever, as they were the greatest parents a guy could ask for.
Still, I grew up very isolated. I am somewhat of a loner by nature, but compound that on top of being…well, a bit unusual I suppose (heh), and you get a lot of, “What IS that Benson guy all about?”
So some lonliness to be sure from being “misunderstood” (yeah, I really don’t like to use that term, but it’s the buddha-honest truth.)
I ran into a guy I graduated high school with. He was a major jock (I was a minor jock) and never paid me a nod in high school.
“Hey man…what’s your name?,” said the now fat bald dude (heh again…)
“Jon…and I remember you Tony. What’s up man?”
“Oh, manager at Oshmans…and you? I heard a few years ago that you went straight and kicked heroin. That’s great man!”
“Uh…wha?”
“Yeah, didn’t you play with some famous rock band?”
“Well, The Producers after they were no longer The Producers, but we were hardly…”
“…so how did you kick drugs? Find Jesus yet?”
“I never knew he was missing. But hey man, for the record, I never even ‘drank’. I’ve never done drugs, Tony. I just had long hair at a time when long hair and football didn’t go together.”
“Oh. Well…wow. Whatever you say. So, you look like you’re doing some ‘roids…”
And the myth continues.
So, isolation and I — very old ‘companions’. I’ve spent a hundred Saturday nights alone without male or female company, but I have plenty of good friends. They are often doing their own thing and know I wouldn’t be very interested, and as I’ve said in other comments, I’m not into sport f—-king (sorry folks, but that’s what it’s called in Dallas), so “dating” unless it means something is not something I do very often.
You ‘can’ feel that, “Man, what’s up with me?” feeling a lot, Alyson, when you live like this. But check it:
LAST NIGHT…yep…I had one of the bigger, “Hey, what the hell?” moments. It was a holiday weekend, 6:00pm, and I was alone in a dark office staring at NO email (that’s so rare it’s absurd), and wondering what on earth I was going to do in this big-ole place by myself.
I never used terms like, “loser”, or whatever — haven’t done that in 10 years. But a bit of a pity party was thrown in my behalf.
Here’s more honesty — and if anyone thinks this is a braggart comment, f—k off. It isn’t. If I wanted to brag, I’d tell you more about my father and mother.
This feeling of “HEY!” is even worse when you are “successful”. Tom (Venuto), my business partner, calls me “famous”, which is a total joke. I’m not famous. He’s much more ‘famous’ than I am, although that may come my way one day. I’m “known” to a small group of people — that’s it.
Still, you start thinking stuff like, “You know, people say you’re okay looking…you live in a kick-ass place, you have all this cool stuff to offer…and you’re still alone on Saturday night.”
That’s just the facts, folks…not anything more.
The reality hits me just a quick, however — this is what you’ve chosen and attracted Jon, nothing more, nothing less. This is the absolute truth. The same goes for you, Alyson — Law of Attraction is just that. It’s a law, or so I feel, and when I look at it that way things make much more sense.
I’ve chosen not to pursue a wife or “women” or mass amounts of friends over pursuing quality friends and a thriving career doing something I totally believe in. Also, I know that I could change that choice at any time.
During this “re-shift”, I got a call from one of my oldest friends. He now lives in NYC, a block from where I was staying, and we’ve been so out-of-touch with each other I didn’t even know it.
“Jon, Paulie…what the #$&%0 dude! My birthday. Idle Rich Pub. Be there.”
He’s Italian. He can’t help it.
Anyway, I literally had to TALK MYSELF into getting up, finding clothes that fit (obviously I’m in-between my killer dress threads (read: jeans I like) and fat clothes, so I was like, “Too tight still,” “Too loose! Cool!”, etc.
Even then, I was thinking of ways ‘out’ of this invite…and I love Paul and Shauna to pieces. Why?
Because I have the mindest of a loner.
The great news is that you can change that mindset and attract plenty of action into your social life. In fact, I have that ‘day’ circled on my calendar, believe it or not.
My mom is always buggin’ me, “Jon..are you EVER going to marry? I want a grandchild!” She’s 80, so she’s been more than patient.
“July, 2006 mom…perhaps a bit sooner.”
Strange answer, isn’t it? I’m not saying that I am ‘closed’ to meeting Mrs. Right tomorrow, nor am I saying I will meet her in July of 2006 — merely that I’m not going to actively focus on the attraction statements for that aspect of my life until then.
This is a lot … almost a blog within this blog, but I wanted you to know that you’re NOT the only one at the party for one…and that there are things you can do ‘right now’, if you’re really ready and really committed to it, to change your social status.
My only bit of advice is to be careful what you choose to attract. So many of my friends looked for companionship too early and are now divorced or miserable. One would think it would be a natural fit at this time in my life to look for that — but I’ve learned the value of patience.
I want to give my future mate a bit more than I am or can right now. She deserves nothing less.
= peace =
Posted on Nov 27, 2005 05:19 PM
Tera said:
Thank goodness for all of you! I was miserably on my way to my own little pity party when I read through this. Boyfriend is in a city five driving hours away from me, interviewing for a job. He needs the job. I’m doing my best to be a good cheerleader, but it’s hard to do, since if he gets the job, he moves to that city. I admit to being high maintenance in that I need daily hugs.
Lonliness is not helping, especially at this time of year while I’m wrapping gifts for my three sisters, their hubbies and kiddies, all of whom live 2000 miles away. Yup, I’m the only one in my entire family who has not gotten married, therefore something is “wrong” with me. For some reason, many people consider me, at 32 years old and unwed, as immature and unable to commit, as opposed to being mature enough to realize that marrying one of my xbfs would have ended up in unhappiness and divorce. The good news is that I did get my depressed rump off the couch yesterday and exercised, which helped considerably. Why is it so hard to get started when I know exercise is going to make me feel better?
Posted on Nov 28, 2005 06:55 AM
Gabe said:
Tera:
I think a reason its hard to start sometimes is because we give life to the reasons that keep us down. I read a recent study that said most active people don’t think about exercise…they just do it. Like Nike. It may be worth a shot when you catch yourself overwhelmed…to just think of the swoosh and jump up! That’s 50% of the battle.
Posted on Nov 28, 2005 07:12 AM
Jon Benson said:
Tera;
You are not married because you have chosen not to be married. It may be ‘deep’, but it’s a choice. Once you fully commit to the idea of it, it will come.
There’s NOTHING wrong with being unwed at 32; in fact, I would label that as SMART for most people! Good for you. Just be an individual and recognize that it’s your own laws of attraction that have created the situation.
Some people will say, “It’s not God’s timing.” I’m not one to say that, as if I were God, given the BILLIONS of wrong second-guesses, I’d be like, “Oh, enough already…as if YOU know MY mind!”
But Bingo…that’s a different deal. : )
In short, “God’s timing” can be really disempowering rather than empowering. I respect people for their faith, of course, but God MAY not have anything to do with it. It may just be your own personal mindset and convictions!
I’m opposed to “blaming God”; then again I’m opposed to “giving God credit for the football victory”, considering both teams prayed for it. Kinda silly. That can go WAY beyond silly. I remember a lady on the news during the Oklahoma City terrorist bombing “giving God the glory” for saving her child, while standing right NEXT to a woman who just LOST BOTH of her children in the same explosion.
I wanted to f—-ing jump through the set. That’s about as “loving” an act as Hitler’s invasion of France. I’m almost POSITIVE that the Jesus she prays to (the one in the Bible) would have thrashed her with a scourge (ala the money-changers in the temple. Yeah, Jesus had a temper on Him…)
Hey now…perhaps we should focus on giving God — whomever you consider God to be, if you consider there to be a God at all…I’m a Deist, so I “do” consider God — thanks for life, for nature, and for love. I think He’d be really happy with that.
Sorry…I’m on a freakin’ soapbox. Could be because I heard from one of my ex’s this weekend, and she liked to believe that God directed her to go to the bathroom.
Funny thing is, that whole “love people” bit was lost in translation with her. Hmmm.
Welcome to my Deism…ha.
Kidding aside, blessings to all.
Jon
Posted on Nov 28, 2005 03:40 PM
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