Let’s start by asking a simple question: what were you thinking right before you ate that last burger you had or that last slice of pizza? Were you focused on developing a nice set of abs and enjoying a healthy meal after your workout? Doubtful—and we wonder why we drive through the Golden Arches! Our thoughts drive us, plain and simple. And, the only way to develop thoughts that drive you in the right direction is to begin to use the tools of the mind at the most basic level. Those tools are words.

Words Create Worlds

It’s been said that to feel fear is normal. The object is to go through it anyway. The true test of courage is not fearlessness, but the power to overcome one’s fears. A feeling of “pull” to something away from your true path is quite similar. To experience a surge of want for that piece of chocolate cake or that slice of pizza is quite normal. What you must choose is to differentiate the truth from the feelings you’re experiencing. When you begin to realize that you are literally ‘lying’ to yourself when you say, “Man, I’m starving!”, or, “I just HAVE to have some chocolate!”, you’re one step closer to separating yourself from the “thoughts of the masses”. These thoughts are, quite frankly, cobble stones on Mediocre Street. I think you want more. I know I do.

I enjoy pizza and chocolate cake. Most humans do, although I know many will not admit it in the fitness industry. However, “enjoy” and “love” is two different things—and I use these words specifically and for a very good reason. “Love” is a very strong emotion, and the subconscious has no way of telling the difference between degrees of love. That’s the job of the conscious mind. You are literally using the same word you use for your mother, or your spouse, as you are a piece of cake! It’s rather silly, isn’t it? Some of this stems from fear, believe it or not. We fear not having the ‘correct’ thing to say. It’s natural to say what you feel before you think it through. For many people such a process is frightening in a way. So, here’s the challenge—you must start using the thoughts and the language of the fearless.

As I wrote in Fit Over 40, our words literally become our world. What we say has a way of manifesting itself into reality. Now, I’m not going all mystical on you here, but think about it—how often do you actually say, “You know, it’s like the entire world loves me!” No—it’s more like, “Why does everyone at work hate me?” Or perhaps, “Why can’t I ever lose weight?” Do you see the connection? You’re literally asking yourself a question, and your subconscious mind is going to do its best to literally answer it.

The last thing you want to be doing if you seek to manage your weight and your life is asking negative questions. Any question you can think of can be rephrased into a positive question. This is NOT positive thinking—this is truthful thinking. Why lie to yourself? And, if you choose to, why on EARTH make it a negative lie? Asking why the world hates you is every bit as much of a lie as stating that everyone in the world loves you—yet we opt for the former over the latter every time. Try the latter if you have to lie! It’s much more fun, and I bet you’ll notice a difference in how you view the world in return.

Instead of asking, “Why am I so fat?” try asking, “How can I become lean and healthy?” If you want to step it up a notch, add some real emotion to the question! “How can I become lean, muscular and incredibly healthy while enjoying every minute of the process?”

That’s a heck of a question, isn’t it?

How about this one—“Why do I keep failing at…?” Try, “How can I succeed at…and inspire others to do the same?”

In my lifecoaching practice, I refer to these as power questions. It’s more than semantics—it’s the way the mind processes information. The better the questions you ask, the better your outcome will be. It’s really that simple.

So, Are We Really “Addicts”?

When considering whether or not you’re addicted to ‘anything’, be it food or harmful substances, I personally find it useless to ask “why”—unless the state of presumed addiction is reframed to a more helpful position. For example, asking “Why am I addicted to diet sodas?” is no where near as helpful to overcoming your attraction to sodas than asking “Why do I momentarily prefer diet soda to water?” Do you notice what I’ve done? I’ve placed the word “momentarily” into the question. This is one way of ‘reframing’, or simply looking at the challenge from a better angle. You are stating to yourself that this is NOT a permanent attraction.

Say both of these statements out loud and see which one influences you more positively. You’ll probably notice that you have FAR more mental and emotional reactions to the “addiction” question than the “momentarily prefer” question. Yet, consider the facts.

No one is truly addicted to anything that isn’t necessary for life.

I realize that’s a bold statement. Yet consider the textbook definition of the word ‘addiction’: “A compulsive physiological and psychological need for a habit-forming substance.”

Need. Abraham Maslow created his Hierarchy of Needs in the early 1940s. To the best of my knowledge, the following are not on that list:

• Heroin
• Speed
• Fast Food
• Diet Sodas
• Cocaine
• Alcohol

I think you get the point. You can be “temporarily drawn” to any of the above, even to the point of thinking you’re literally dependent on them to survive, but you’re not. There are too many “addicts” who are no longer “addicted”. I have been massively attracted to tastes of certain foods for most of my life, so I do know how it can feel at times. Out of control, as if you have no other choice in the matter. I’ve also worked closely with many drug addicts, sex addicts and food addicts in my career as well. The bottom line, and this goes for me during my moments, is that we simply do not have a lever large enough to move us to cease the actions we feel we require to adequately survive.

There is more than hope—there is complete management of the situation, no matter how difficult it may seem at the time. It all begins with asking the right questions and watching the conversations you have with yourself. Why say you’re “dying for…” when you are not? Do you realize what your mind is doing with the word “dying”?

I will be writing a series of articles on this subject, suggesting verbal and mental tools to help you overcome any sort of behavior you think has control over your life or preventing you from reaching your ideal body. In many ways, I preach to the choir…yet after many years of practice, I no longer sing out of tune. In other words, I now ask the right questions. I also learned to stop saying the things that simply are not true.

Remember—truthful thinking!