Originally a comment…
This was originally a comment to Cherie, but I decided to nuke the comment and make this a second blog. Please read…
Cherie;
I hear the frustration, and I’d like to make my point clear. I have nothing whatsoever against anyone who is struggling with weight or obesity; in fact, I want to help them any way I can. Sometimes that help can seem really encouraging, like the 12 calls from 10ers I got today came across. Sometimes, it’s harsh; more out of humor than anything, but the occasional cold shower never hurt anyone…long.
Got an email from a client today who did not appreciate the cold shower in the blog on Little Suz. Missed the forest for the trees, but that’s cool. Some will really ‘hate’ being told something that DOES NOT make them feel GOOD.
Listen up folks: my job isn’t to make anyone feel good. My job is to make as many people as will let me become honest with themselves, and therefore fully empowered. Denial and excuses are not the way to do this.
Now, there are ‘reasons’…and reasons are different than excuses. We know the difference inside. The aforementioned client may have had reasons or excuses, or both, but that’s not the point. The point is that everyone, thin or fat, big or small, black or white or yellow or green, must look themselves in the mirror of the soul at the end of the day and ask, “Did I give this my best and most honest shot?”
If so, you cannot fail…even if you never get that 30” waist or size 4 dress. Give it your all, and I’ll be the best damn coach you’ll ever have. Whine and I’ll be the biggest jerk you’ve ever met.
And, btw…WHEN I WHINE, I’M A JERK. This is not a double-standard. Granted, I don’t whine often, but I am just as human as the rest of you. Honestly, I ‘never’ berate myself any longer (that died years ago), but the injuries and illnesses….yeah, I’ve whined. I’ve cried over it. And, there have been times when it simply was not feasible to train.
But it was always more than feasible to move forward rather than backward. I just took the coward’s way out.
So, I’ve been a coward, and I’ve been a brave man. I like the latter much more.
So many of you give me a push to be a brave man. Some of these inspirations of mine are obese, some are overweight, and some are really lean. Who cares?? The mindset is the same:
NO excuses.
NO retreat.
NO surrender.
All else is bull——. And that goes DOUBLE for me.
So, attention all obese readers: I truly care and want to help you help yourself…all I ask is that you stop blaming others, your self, your genes, your childhood, and your circumstances, IF you are, and simply GET IN WITH 10.
10 costs you nothing but fat. I charge exactly 1 pound of fat per week on average for the rest of your fat-burning lives.
Just so I’m clear and there’s no confusion with my rant on whiner organizations as opposed to obese people who are really locked in and making a difference. I LOVE you guys; I will not tolerate whiners.
That means I do not tolerate myself from time to time…and you know what? That’s really healthy.
Archived in Just Jon.
This entry has no entry tags.
Comments (17)
anna said:
Jon
You teach through tough love (not sure of spelling here…)some people cannot take it and get offended, some just shut up and work their ass off for better results. I am the latter. Although I am not overweight or obese. In fact I shouldn’t even complain but to loose 100 lbs or 10lbs is just the same and if you happen to yell at me that is just great, i will shut up and listen and take it and reevalute my shit and keep on going.
Here i would like to ask you a favor since i don’t want to call you because i know that you are busy but if you wouldn’t mind just personally from time to time ask me how i am doing and if i am still doing it, etc - that would be great. This is what kept me coming back to this blog because you personally said “to anna, you rock girl - keep on going!!” or “try 250 cal per meal that should help” you know what i mean.
Please
As for everybody else - you are here because you chose to be here because you know that you have to do something about your health- so don’t whine.
all of us here have good days and bad days. Jon is the one who keeps us going and if we need to vent we do it, and if he needs to vent he does but, he does it in a way that makes us aware that there is a health problem out there and we should be the ones that should be doing something about it. So lets get together and do it.
Posted on Nov 08, 2005 08:20 PM
Tina said:
Hi Jon,
yes you are a bit eclectric/eccentric, sometimes brash but are also charming, witty, wise and sensitive please don’t change a thing. I have paid over $600 in the last year for a trainer at my gym that was pretty much a waste of my money, I might as well have flushed it down the drain. Here you provide us with all the facts about fat, eating right, inspiration & motivation and you can tell by the way you write that this is really important to you - to help us. It’s like your leading the church of the weight loss zone and we are all invited free of charge. You have given us your e-mail and even your cell phone number and you spend who knows how long thinking up witty commentary to amuse and get us off our duffs for free. My trainer would not even talk to me unless it was during his 45 minutes of being paid let alone let you call him with questions on his cell phone. Do you guys realize what a hell of a bargain your getting? Hope you all appreciate it. Also take the time to read his bio, mission and other reasons why he is doing this for us. Stop whinning or even better go to your local gym and see how much money they want for 1/4 of what he is providing for you for free (fat).
Posted on Nov 08, 2005 08:24 PM
Jim said:
Haven’t been here since day 1 although I’ve let 3 go in three! Caught up on all the threads and you all have lots of good stuff going on.
Euphemisms never did me any good, especially when they came from within. Funny that about a week ago I wrote a note to myself about my stiff neck being an excuse, not a valid reason for slacking off. I got it sneezing real hard during a cold, not at that concert where Weezer opened for The Foo Fighters. BTW, FF kicked by butt!
I’ve known the truth about my counter-productive habits for much of my soon to be 50 years, but have made a habit of excusing the development of greater self-discipline. I’ve dished out blunt talk about others and not practiced what I may have preached.
Thanks, Jon for being blunt and funny about it too! We all tend to take this PC stuff way too seriously and at the end of the day find the boat has left without us.
Take charge of myself; lead by example.
Posted on Nov 08, 2005 08:35 PM
Cherie said:
Hey Jon,
Just what I was aiming for; to be the start point for one of your blogs :)
Just in case any of my friends are reading this-(studies on nurses show an added 10# for the night shift minimun-and I’m one of them)I Love all sized people, it was the negative attitude I was lamenting on. And because I do care, sometimes it gets frustrating.
Posted on Nov 08, 2005 10:59 PM
Timpa said:
Hi Jon!
About my genes : The harder I work out and the better my diet is, the more my genetics improve” Right. You tell, we listen. If FAT is what you charge, FAT is what you get!!! I love your blog. Great stuff. Shall we BURN, yeah!!!
Posted on Nov 09, 2005 12:47 AM
Jon Benson said:
To Anna:
Tough love…possibly. I just lump it all in with ‘truth’, and of course truth is subjective. I was called out for “having a narrow worldview.” Ironically just the opposite: the world ‘must’ get leaner and healthier or say bye-bye to our planet. I’m a very long-term thinker… : ) Nature has a way of removing the bad apples.
No one here (that’s posted) has whined at all, for which I’m not only surprised but grateful. I think that shows the sense of humor and courage of everyone invovled. Even those who take offense or whatever, IT’S COOL. Seriously. Part of the plan is to play with your heads a bit and have some fun in the process. I’m actually quite sane, thank you.
Lastly, I’m happy to keep encouraging you, and you’re welcome to call me Anna. So…YOU ROCK!! ; ) No, really…you’ve been a trooper from day one, and I greatly appreciate your enthusiasm and energy.
To Tina:
Wow…this makes my night. Thank you so much for those kind words.
A bit of a ‘Jon Secret’…it’s something I teach in wealth mangement sessions when doing lifecoaching: give it away. This goes over really well with CPAs and Harvard Business School grads, let me tell ya…but it works. It puts the mind into a state of abundance rather than lack. Napoleon Hill, one of the great coaching minds of the 20th century, said, “In order to become wealthy, simply find something you love to do, something you would do for FREE, and make sure that something meets the needs of others on a large scale.” What better way to test what you love than to do it for free FIRST!
FYI: I had AllYourStrength.com (a serious site; not a lot of ha-has there) for YEARS before I wrote my first book. In all that time, I did nothing but publish free articles and work hours a day while running a design firm for my monthly income. Slowly that shifted, and when Fit Over 40 came out, everything changed. Thanks to Tom Venuto, who I honestly owe so much of my success in this industry to, and the fact that I wrote a book out of a serious passion, I have the luxury of doing this blog. M-Power made Fit Over 40 pale in comparison with sales (it’s just a higher dollar product), but literally took years to execute. Anyone on the program can tell that by listening to just one or two audios. It’s hardly me gabbing into a cheap mic. I wanted the Ferrari of websites for fitness.
Why share all of this? Because you need to know two things: first, I do this for free because I have a passion to help others that simply grows by the day ‘and’ a passion to put what I believe into action. I believe such giving will do nothing but serve others and cause myself and my friends to prosper. Second, because without the faith to start AYS for years, with no one reading (or so I thought until that Forbes award) was the seeds that are responsible for the fact I’m able to go to a Depeche Mode show tonight, come home and have plenty of time to write, and then focus on the stuff life is about.
In short, this is the product of faith and action applied. I’d like to see ANYONE out there interested repeat this process so I can watch it happen over and over again. Just do what you love and be willing to do it for free, and the universe just opens the windows of heaven.
But hey, I’m not Donald Trump, so buy my stuff.
Heh. You knew I couldn’t keep a serious tone for long, right?
P.S. Oh, see Depeche Mode if you get a chance. I was never a fan until tonight. One of the best live shows I’ve seen in years with some really innovative lighting and video stuff seemlessly integrated into their music.
To Jim:
The world loves and hates an honest man…I personally love it. Keep it up my friend, and thanks for sharing what you did. FF is a good band for sure, but I miss DG on drums, which is why the new NIN just rocks my windows. The boy can play.
To Cherie, and a special “to” at that:
Cherie, and the WORLD, this post was not directed at you…should have made that very clear. Sorry. You’re an awesome blogger and there was nothing wrong with what you wrote. I merely sparked something “I” forgot to write, and I also used it to say, “Hey, I’ve been there and still on occasion go there.”
I was thrilled that you wrote it…hopefully you can take the blog as a compliement. : )
Posted on Nov 09, 2005 12:55 AM
Jon Benson said:
To Timpa:
Yeah…so true. And the harder I work, the “luckier” I seem to get. Go figure. : )
Posted on Nov 09, 2005 01:59 AM
Joe said:
Hi Jon,
So much I could say…about the encouragement, information, etc….suffice to say: KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
This is all about the “why” ….and the “hows” are also on target. Love it!
A question: is there a rule-of-thumb regarding breathing during weight training? …again, the “experts” at the gym all seem to have their own answers..
Joe
Posted on Nov 09, 2005 02:33 AM
Cherie said:
Dear Jon,
Your Blog marely made me rethink what I had originally written…it wasn’t directed at you either. I admit that I was in a funk on the first one. I had just found out that I have osteochondritis dissecans of my elbow, that could keep me from lifting for up to a year, possibly need surgery and end up in arthritis. I had spent time with a good friend who weighs 400#+ who offered comments on “fitness-impossibles” so, I’m sorry if my first blog was a bit harsh, now you all know where I was coming from. waaaaaa!
Cherie
Posted on Nov 09, 2005 08:36 AM
Lisa from Boston said:
all I can say again is Thanks Jon.
reminds me of that old Acqua Vela commercial….after the guy gets slapped in the face….he says…’thanks I needed that’.
Just taking one day at a time. I do hate using the scale….I just started lifting again and put on muscle pretty quickly…and the psychological damage of the number on the scale is not worth it…I dont even know what i weighed when i competed….cause to me it doesnt really matter…. I will just go how I look and how my clothes fit and may go get my body fat measured.
Jon…your wicked awesome (a bit of boston slang for ya)
Posted on Nov 09, 2005 10:22 AM
Natasha said:
Hi Jon,
I’m wondering if you can shed some light on an issue I’ve been having - a bit of background:; I’m female, 29, 134lbs, 5”7 and approx. 20% body fat. Athlete all my life and continue to be healthy, weight train, run, etc. I hired a sports nutritionist about a month ago to help me decrease my body fat percentage. I always had a healthy diet and have eaten the 5-6 small meals per day for a couple of years (thanks to Tom Venuto and Burn The Fat) but felt that I was stuck. Now I am finding that while I can easily follow the plan (all organic, very balanced small meals), every few days I get cravings so strong that wild horses can’t stop me. I feel my body being ‘out of whack’ and fight the cravings, sometimes for days (literally dreaming about eating) and then break down and have a massive meal (usually at night) and then kick myself. I don’t think this is a self-control issue but perhaps too much of a calorie deficit? I don’t eat junk, but will just have extra servings, one after another of healthy food - and mainly starch is what I seem to want (currently having 5 servigs per day) …any thoughts on how to get a handle on this or do you know of a good resource to direct me to?
Finally, thank you for this site and all of the work you have done. I find it very inspiring and a great information source.
Posted on Nov 09, 2005 10:53 AM
Elisa said:
I say if you get upset over being asked sincerely to look in the mirror and describe what you see then there is some grist for thought and reflection.
To those who got upset about the Suz story, would it serve you better to have a blog where you are coddled and allowed to create excuses for not succeeding? A blog that didn’t ask you to reflect on your old way of behaving and begin to shift it? I don’t think so.
Jon makes a great distinction here between reasons and excuses. I broke my arm two summers ago. I was depressed that I couldn’t lift weights but I concocted a workout plan with my personal trainer that allowed me to do what I could despite the cast plus I continued to run on days when my arm didn’t throb. If I was in pain I didn’t workout - I listened to my body and rested. But I moved forward nevertheless.
I am with you Anna. I am willing to hear my shit, reflect on it and use it to be what I want to see (Jon, I know you are laughing here given some of the sessions we’ve had!).
Jon, you are an inspiration. If you aren’t honest with us about yourself and the process then you haven’t actually lived to the service you want to provide. Thank you for being OF SERVICE for not mincing words and for giving those much needed cold showers. Those who get it - GET IT.
Posted on Nov 09, 2005 01:49 PM
Bonnie Sue said:
Hi Jon,
Just a real quick “thank you” for your personal time earlier today - it was greatly appreciated and I enjoyed our conversation. It’s nice to hear the voice behind the blog.
Oh yeah, I’m sure this is a quadrupicate answer, but where can I find coconut oil? I can’t seem to find it in the “regular” market.
Bye for now!
Posted on Nov 09, 2005 05:34 PM
Sparrow said:
To Cherie:
You already know this, but don’t listen to “fitness-impossibles”! I have a connective tissue disease that means I will probably never be able to lift again (I used to love lifting so much!) and some days I have to dig deep for the strength just to walk the two blocks from home to classes. I’ll confess, I was really down about the situation at first but then I remembered that I have the rest of my life to live and I’m not going to live it feeling sorry for myself and telling myself all the things I think I can’t do.
So, to make a far-too-long story shorter, I decided to learn more about how the body works so I could get that extra weight off and keep my muscles as strong as possible, even with my limitations. The 10 in 10 is part of my ongoing education and I am pleased to say that my scale this morning says that I am 4 pounds lighter than I was exactly one month ago. This puts me up to a total loss of 50 pounds of fat — about half-way to my goal!
Your friend is obviously very dear to you, but there are some things you just can’t take her word on and one of those things is the possibilities in your life for health and fitness — regardless of your current situation — once you’ve put your mind and heart and body 100% into the game. Hang in there and work around your injury for now and keep faith that you will take yourself where you want to go.
Posted on Nov 09, 2005 05:40 PM
Tera said:
To Sparrow and Cherie (sorry Jon, we’re taking over…):
Cheers to both of you! When the doctors *finally* figured out that I have a severe allergy to rubber compounds, they told me that I would probably have to give up my career (which I absolutely love) along with everything in my life that is made out of rubber. (Okay people, I challenge YOU to find panties without elastic.) Sparrow, I totally admire your outlook. Cherie, it’s totally cool to be frustrated when realizing that your body “let you down,” even if it’s temporarily. Sometimes you just gotta go through that. Then realize that life goes on. By the way, I still have my career (biomedical researcher), and was actually encouraged by my allergy to go on for my PhD BABY! Go ahead, get in my way. I dare you. I also got a road bike this fall, and with a little help from my boyfriend, am zipping right along. Whee! What a blast.
Posted on Nov 09, 2005 07:09 PM
Jon Benson said:
To All:
I’ll get to specifics later tonight…it’s cooking night here in the Benson household, which consists of 6 plants, 2 of which I’m pretty sure are still alive, and a refrigerator full of dead animals…oh, yeah, a roommate.
It’s a big place. Think “Three Men and a Baby” without the third man or the baby…or the gaudy 80s decorum, and there you have it. Two 40-something batchelors who need to be saved by the soothing touch of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerlee….er….a caring, genuine, brutally intelligent LITTLE HOTTI….damn…beautiful young woman. Women? Woman. What’s right here? I only want ONE…so, “woman” I think. But since the subject was “roommate” which implies plurality, … oh intercourse it. Buddhadamn this linguistic bullpee.
Bullpee. There’s your new swear word for the day. Why pick on No. 2 so much, huh? HUH??? No answer for THAT question, is there? NO!! Always me…pointing pee out to you guys…
Where on EARTH AM I?? Oh, right…blogging. Making ‘sense’…got it.
I’ll try. I’m hungry.
Yeah, whiners suck…but often they just suck in temporary mode. Encourage them when you can and however you can, and then move on. Sometimes people have to come to their own conclusions. Sometimes they never do…but you have to move on.
Good stuff in here folks…really good stuff.
Oh, Tera…two words for you sista: “go commando”.
: )
Posted on Nov 09, 2005 07:34 PM
Gypsi said:
Well, I know I am one of those that need pushing and have energetic people to talk with to motivate me. I appreciate the tough love approach. In person I would be very embarrased to have someone tell me like it should be.. but I would take it to heart.. blush and try so hard to be better… this is what I am doing now.. without the blushing….one step at a time.. one pound at a time… and a hundred weeks from now… whew!! seems so far away… but I CAN DO IT! I WILL DO IT!!
Posted on Nov 09, 2005 11:44 PM
Comments are now closed for this entry.