Starblogs And Poo
Yeah, so my internet connection went the way of Wham! circa 1990. Bye-bye T1, hello Starbucks and wi-fi today. Hey, at least I’m keeping my word and blogging, right? I’ve started calling Starbucks “Starblogs”. I know, it sucks…but I’m feeling almost witless today, especially after the Wham! reference.
Currently it’s my nifty Apple laptop, a cool Texas breeze and me. When I talk on Skype, people think I’ve lost my mind…so it’s fun to egg that on a bit. “Shhh…I told you I’M NO LONGER HERE!!…go away…pllleeeassss…”, all while taking on a Jack Nicholson type stare.
You’d have to be there.
So, I’m recovered from the U2 bomb last night, and feeling fine. Today’s MasterMeals plan is rocking as well. My body was hungrier than it was yesterday (part of the MasterMeals charm is the flexibility in calories in a given day), so I ate every 2 hours or so for a while. I’m pretty hungry now, even with the Stones blaring in my ears, which usually dulls my appetite for some reason. Nothing against The Stones…perhaps it’s feramonal.
This week…yes, yes…all about MasterMeals and what-the-blank I’m talking about every time you see it mentioned. (The links will take you to a page dedicated to it.) Also, I’m really upping the training logs, so be looking for that.
As for today, I’d like to discuss…are you ready?… poop.
As in doody.
Look, I’m freakin’ serious. This has to be discussed for health reasons, not because I want you all to log on to doodie.com and delve into sick humor. (God I love that site…heh.)
Being ‘regular’ is really important to this whole process of discarding fat. Really really really really. I’ve met clients, mostly female, that think doing the 2 every 4 is perfectly normal.
Uh…no. That’s bad. That’s a sign that you need to really look at your water intake, increase your healthy fats (almost always the cure), and up the veggies and natural fiber.
I’m not going to chat long about this subject ‘cause like I said…I’m hungry. Now it’s Max Webster in my ears, so my appetite just increased and I’d like to keep it there, thank YOU very much. Hey…$.02 to the first non-Canook who knows who Max Webster is. I’ll PayPal it to you…
Back to the doo.
2x/day folks. That’s the goal if you’re eating 40% or greater in carbs. Shy of that should be a sign to increase your water. Without water, forget fat burning, and you know why. I’ve already blogged about it. Don’t ask me why…find it. Go…shoo.
Ah, the soothing sounds of the Red Hot Chili Peppers…makes me really hungry. I dig hot foods.
So, that’s my crap for the day. This week…promise…pictures of grub.
I think given the subject matter I was really mature, composed, and quite restrained in the pun department, don’t you?
I mean, come ON…how easy would it be for me to have taken this very serious subject and flush it and this whole blog right down the Porcelain Throne without so much as a passing wipe…er, glance?
Do’oh!
Sunday, October 30th
- My MasterMeal Plan
- MM1: Organic beef cooked in organic beef broth with brown rice, veggies mixed in, and 1/3 yam (recipe coming)
- MM2: Spicy Chicken Soft Taco
- MM3: Beef and Mixed Veggies
- MM4: Spicy Chicken And Rice
- MM5: Jon’s Tuna Concoction
Click here to view my recipes.
Uh, huh huh…I said “poop”….uh…. {10}
Archived in MasterMeals.
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Comments (27)
Clare said:
Hey Jon,
On that camp for kids. I think it’ll have to be really cool. I was thinking of getting it sponsored, by someone like Schwarzenegger, call it Schwarzenegger’s Success Camp, or training camp. The sponsor would turn up once or twice,maybe play Santa ,give out free stuff,say how great they did, give them a signed certificate.Have somewhere on the second page that its for the unfit,maybe have the application form ask for height and weight, which should give you an idea. Have some really cool stuff to do too. Climbing walls, abseiling, those canoes you sit on not in,maybe some of those computer interactive games where you bounce about in front of a screen boxing, dancing etc. And food, not too challenging to start with. Lighter versions of their favourites ie airpopped popcorn,grilled instead of fried everything. I’ve seen some diet shows start their victims off on a detox cleanse of stewed nettles! Getting local heroes in to chat to kids would be a sweetener. I mean Claudia Schiffer turning up to train Richie Rich sure got him interested. Local heroes- fit for their work- fireman, rescue personnel, soldiers, sports stars,etc. There’s a cool charity here called Youth off the Streets. It uses an interesting idea to get through to tough street kids who see themselves as victims,beyond help. They go on camps with kids with a disability, and be their helpers. They also recently went to orphanages in East Timor.Once they see how lucky they are just being whole and healthy and in the 1st world their victim attitude just drops away. Maybe you could apply this with some sort of buddy system where a fitter kid(later on a previous attendee)helps out a new kid.
I hope you’ll use that goalsetting from Burn the fat. I spent the morning doing that with my exceptionally negative 11 yr old. Now he’s making a rocket to paste all his goals on.
Clare
(not the actress)
Posted on Oct 31, 2005 02:10 AM
Timpa said:
Hi Jon, you are the MAN. What you are doing is great and it keeps me going. You have done it and I WILL do it too. Start at 153kg and now 124kg and going down.. shredding fat off. I have to go burn some fat now. THANK YOU.
Posted on Oct 31, 2005 03:39 AM
janine hill said:
Max Webster as the band not in a strictly ‘Who’ sense, right!
You did admirably in the restraint field today and I am afraid you sense of humour is probably as bad as my own :)
And I expect that 2c lol.
What would I do without this information?
I have lost more body fat but I don’t really have good stamina , any tips would be gratefully received ( on stamina not paypal)
Posted on Oct 31, 2005 04:43 AM
Janet said:
Howdy Jon!
I’m glad that you covered today’s subject; no one mentions these things when talking about eating for a contest or for gettting ripped. I’ve noticed that things “slow” down a bit when I change to a macronutrient ratio of 40/30/30 (P/C/F). This ratio seems to be working for me so I want to keep it going. Now I realize that it’s the WATER amount. Would you still recommend, say, ground up flax seeds or any other fiber supplement, or just crank up the water?
BTY, I’m an UT alumn (BS and PhD) and just wanted to say HOOK EM’ HORNS!!!!! Can you say Rose Bowl???
I dig your blog. I want to get ripped for once in my life (I’m at around 20% BF, 43 y/o female). I’m shooting for 13% BF which works to about 10 lbs of fat. I’ve never been very heavy but getting into the BF teens has been a challenge for me. Your blog keeps me inspired and is not sanitized (in a good way) like many magazine articles and interviews with bodybuilders or fitness models. I’m one of those rare women who wants to be muscled and lean. I’m doin’ it!
Janet
Posted on Oct 31, 2005 07:52 AM
anna said:
hello
well, my first weigh in and guess what I have lost 1.7 lbs !!! :) this didn’t happen for a long time for me so i am psyched to keep going.
thank you so much for all the blogs and advice it sure helps me everyday and it is stuck in my head.
my weekend was not the greatest but the power bars sure saved me.
Now, i guess i have to start drinking more water and all will be good
have a great day
Posted on Oct 31, 2005 11:30 AM
Pamila said:
Hi there Jon,
I really enjoy the questions and answers. Very nice thing you are doing for all of us.
I too am interested in an answer to Janet’s question. Is it mostly to do with water intake or would flax or additional fiber be beneficial? Then one more question. How can we know for sure that the pound we are discarding is body fat and not lean muscle mass?
Posted on Oct 31, 2005 12:29 PM
Geoff said:
Hi Jon
You ROCK mate! I’m down by 5 lbs!
Cheers, Geoff
Posted on Oct 31, 2005 12:52 PM
anna said:
hi geoff
5lbs for your first week??
how did you do that??
Great job!!
Posted on Oct 31, 2005 01:05 PM
Jon Benson said:
To Clare: (not the actress, right, got that…but if Ms. Forlani is reading this, please marry me…and yes, I know it’s spelled with an “i”…and you were so freakin’ brilliant in the oft-maligned but top 10 on my list Meet Joe Black…oh, yeah, I’m on one knee here…hey, I’ll even stop brushing my teeth so I blend more in with your fellow Brits…I’ll even live with the armpit hair, ya goddess, you…)
Where the hell was I? Oh, yes…serious now. Clare, kids camp…stars and all. The idea rules. Love it. Clinton is now huge into childhood obesity, but I doubt kids would know who he was or care too much. History can now be counted in minutes. (You mean that building is 10 years old? Tear it DOWN man!…)
Ahhhnold would be great, as would your other trey-excellent ideas. Combine it with my (ah-HUM) winner of a name (Camp Nobesity™: Where Your Focus Is Freedom.)
All this stuff is ™ and © and other fancy keyboard stuff.
Let’s talk more about this Clare. It’s on the board for 2007, and I already have a guy who’s starting camps that’s very interested in the concept.
The key thing is bringing the parents in, and I DO mean in. We don’t hammer the kids; we hammer the folks. Let the ACLU toast it’s toes in Gehenna, I’m going to tell it like it is.
To Timpa:
All I can say is…congrats! Pass the word and keep it up. Burn, baby, burn…
To Janine:
Yes, I mean “who” as in “who ARE”, but I was trying to be deceptive. We all know Max was Pink, Led, and other such thingies. Love that band.
Stamina: Yep. Try checking out GXP cardio. 9-12 minutes and you’re done. Then decrease weight training rest intervals. That will add stamina most of us are looking for. If you’re wanting to be the next Lance, well then…ride, ride, and ride some more. Then ask God (or the aforementioned other deities in some other reply…my Vishnu, I’m NOT looking that up again!) for better lungs. Lance’s VO2-Max was at one time the highest ever recorded. He’s a freak…and this was LONG before any of this drug accusation BS. As if Lance NEEDS help in the breathing department. Geez.
To Dr. Janet:
Yes, a great idea. Also powdered cellulose works well, and doesn’t taste like you’re swallowing ground-up plastic. Up the water, healthy fats a bit, and the veggies.
Ah, a Texas gal…or a Texas graduate gal. I played college ball (briefly) and I couldn’t tell you a stat. However, ask me about the pros.
You can do the 13%, and you’ll be damn lean if you do…and healthy. A lot of fitness competitors are horribly unhealthy with their body fat in the single digits.
To Anna:
YEAH! Feels great, doesn’t it? Once you set your mind to a “simple” goal (1 pound of FAT in 1 week), the subconscious just tends to lock down on it. You’ll find (my, my, the mystery of it all) every answer you need to make it happen.
To Pamila:
You’re quite welcome. Both is the answer. Water, fiber, veggies, and other things I didn’t mention last night as I WAS HUNGRY, OKAY?? : ) Kidding. Believe it or not, emotions have a lot to do with irregularity, which is why 90% of my clients who suffer from it (or did) are female. Not that males are not emotional (I’m a highly emotional male, but in the good way…you know, like John Donne…yeah, that’s the ticket…), but women are more wired I suppose to bury that pain deep inside.
Something everyone needs to hear: emotion is energy, and all energy is stored or used. Not “new age”, just “new common sense”. I know many people who are massage therapists. They state that people will just start crying or laughing for no apparent reason once a certain part of their body is ‘released’. I see the same thing in yoga and QiGong. This is the way it works my friends: we are designed as walking freezer units. We can store whatever we need for another time, and that comes in the form of any type of energy, be it physical or mental.
You must release the emotions to release the “clog” on the energy system. This is what acupuncture and acupressure is all about. Hey, 10 Gazillion Chinese cannot be wrong…except perhaps about that whole Communism thing, but OTHER than that, they’re bang-on. Listen to their wisdom here.
About muscle mass: this is pretty simple until you get into very low body fat percentages: if your waistline (or hip line) is decreasing, and your strength in the gym is either staying the same (hope not) or increasing, your chances of losing “a lot” of muscle are almost nil. A more accurate was to know is AccuMeasure calipers (cheap, online, and one-site, do-it-yourself jobbers). Even more-so would be to have the same qualified trainer check your body fat every month (no more) with a 7-site caliper test using Lange calipers.
Me? I opt for the simple route: how do I look, how strong am I, and can I fit in my college jeans. But that’s me. Works though.
To Geoff:
Bees knees, mate…hero of the week status is coming your way. Now, about Tony Blair…(heh) BTW: I now have to visit London. New York is my favorite city (yes, it really is…I LOVE NY! The people, the culture, the city itself, the park. I go as often as I can.) I was telling this to a friend of mine at the U2 show and she said, “Oh, see London. I lived there for years. It’s like NY, but with all the culture of Britain mixed in.” So, it’s next on the list.
To All: Congratulations on the successes! I’m starting a “Success Story” link this week as well, so you will all soon be famous. Some of you will make Oprah, so please let her know I think she’s cool and then plug the bageezus out of 10-in-10, deal?
Oh, I get 10% of your first book… : )
Posted on Oct 31, 2005 01:14 PM
Geoff said:
Hi Anna
I wish it was just one week but unfortunately that’s a 2-week figure. Did I say unfortunately - wrong word - that’s still over 2 lbs per week
Cheers, Geoff
Posted on Oct 31, 2005 01:15 PM
anna said:
me again
when we talked about obisity and the whole fat wars etc - the funny thing happend to me on Sunday.
i wanted to go work out in the gym.
I went to the sort of near by facility thinking that they will charge me a fee since i am not a member. They wanted $10 - which i thought was rediculess, i just wanted to work out for 1.5 hours.
I think that it is rediculess the amount of money all of those gym facilities charge to work out. Regular folks for sure can’t afford it.
there should be a movement of some kind to make the governments realise that instead of letting people work out and use the facilities they unable them to do so.
I know what most people will say “you don’t really have to work out in the gym etc”, well here in edmonton, canada you really have to cause it is too bloody cold to go outside and even run. Besides peple get motivated more if they are in a motivated environment.
if the gyms are not available to people then this is a part of the problem as well.
this whole industry should be somehow regulated if the governments want to combat the obisity. But on the other hand i really don’t think that they want to because that would not make them rich
I just wanted to say that i am not a cheap person but i walked out of that facility and didn’t work out there, i had the option of going to my gym at work (guite a bit of a drive may I add)
Things like that frustrate me ….
So, there that is a piece of my mind for today…
Posted on Oct 31, 2005 01:21 PM
Jon Benson said:
Anna…Geoff…DO NOT ANGER THE VOLCANO GODS.
You do “not” wish it was one week, otherwise you would have lost a bunch of muscle. (Oh, Pamila…that’s another way to be sure you don’t lose muscle mass: stick to 1-2 pounds of FAT per week.)
More than that is almost always in the form of water and muscle.
Be very, very, very happy with 1 pound of ‘fat’ per week, and you will succeed at this for the rest of your life.
Now, everyone promise me that’s what you’re going to finally adopt as your mantra, and be damn happy for it…I’m waiting…
Posted on Oct 31, 2005 01:22 PM
Geoff said:
Happy, happy, happy, yep… HAPPY
Posted on Oct 31, 2005 01:52 PM
Jon Benson said:
To Anna:
Two suggestions: first, we offer a completely in-home (no weights) program at MasterMeals. This was designed by the author of “The Anywhere, Anytime Workout”, personal trainer Scott Kyle. Scott built a Greek god bod and never left his house…and he’s 42. Our version of it would be personalized of course to suit your needs.
Second, you do ‘not’ have to be outdoors to do cardio. An inexpensive rebounder (about the cost of 2 gym visits!) and a pair of Heavy Hands (http://www.heavyhands.com) would easily do the trick.
Posted on Oct 31, 2005 01:58 PM
Trinity said:
Or a jumprope! Plus I do my upper body at home once a week or so, and my little weights plus pushups and other bodyweight activities give me a good workout with a burn!
Back on poo for a moment, I find that my essential oils supplement helps. Any thoughts?
I have an unrelated question, but you did say you didn’t want to make the comments a Q & A, didn’t you?? :) I’ll save it for a shorter comment section.
Posted on Oct 31, 2005 02:26 PM
Jon Benson said:
To Trinity:
How are the three of you? : ) Ask away…everyone else is. Ha! It’s cool, I’ll keep up as long as I can, will, try, etc.
1. Jumping rope is good, but if you’re more than 50 pounds overfat I do not recommend it for joint reasons. Rebounders are excelllent, and jumping rope is great if you’re already in pretty good shape. You can get winded quickly jumping rope.
2. Essential oils are “healthy fats”, so yep…that’s exactly what I’m talking about. DHA/EPA (fish oil), coconut oil, flax, olive oil, etc.
Posted on Oct 31, 2005 02:37 PM
anna said:
this is all great but my point is why not make all the healthy stuff more widely available to everybody instead of a burger being cheaper than a healthy salad - you know what i mean?? :)
Posted on Oct 31, 2005 03:21 PM
Pamila said:
Thank you Jon. You made that easy. If you can fit in the jeans you want, waist is reducing and you have strength then it’s pretty fair assumption that I am discarding body fat and not lean body mass (unless I am in the low digits for body fat). I do have the calipers and I’m not the best at them but I am getting consistent readings.
Posted on Oct 31, 2005 03:30 PM
Jon Benson said:
To Anna:
Write President Bush about this, as you have a valid point. Expect an answer in about 22 years. He’s busy right now thinking up new words.
Simple reason: profits. I’m not against capitalism at all, nor would I ever want to keep someone from making a profit. It would just be cool if more people would stop trying to make an extra profit from more basic foods. The mark-up on burgers is actually lower than on salads, for example.
Shame, shame.
Posted on Oct 31, 2005 03:51 PM
Joe said:
BIG THANKS! …last year I asked every “trainer” in my local gym…and got nothing that made sense to me. This does! I’ll keep you posted.
Posted on Oct 31, 2005 11:35 PM
Jon Benson said:
Joe;
No worries mate…most trainers suck. M-Power trainers are the exact opposite…well, they don’t “blow”, which is the opposite. They rule. They know their stuff because they’ve ‘been there’. Yeah, they have the degrees (for legal reasons really), but every one of them will tell you they learned what they do best in the trenches and sweat, not in the classroom and drool on the desk.
Trainers: if you’re reading this, flame me only if you DON’T suck, and don’t give me any of your “look at the consonants behind my name” crap either. You either know your stuff or you don’t. Most of you don’t, and even fewer of you know you don’t. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. Fifteen years in gyms will do the trick.
Why am I being such an ass about this? Because the training world needs a swift kick there.
One more diatribe: the richest self-made man in the world never went to school for finance. The greatest teachers never went to divinity school. The greatest physicist barely made it through college and considered his time there “a limiting factor in my ability to grow.”
And, the greatest trainer? Hands-down: Vince Gironda. Whenever you get results like Vince, I’ll put your name in his place…and do it for 40 years.
You may learn in school, but you excel and master through passion, not through the approval of others or skins on your wall. I’ve met laymen who know more about medicine than 90% of the doctors in practice because (a) they’re f-n brilliant; and (b) they read a lot. Go figure…you can actually learn from reading. Hmmm.
Now, I’m not tooting MY horn. I’m not a ‘trainer’…I’m a nutritionist, lifecoach, writer, lover, historian and part-time shoebox architect. (I also make stuff up.) But Joe’s question was very simple for ‘anyone’ who has had a lot of training experience and/or experience helping others. I have no certifications for training. I learned the exercises on that link I gave Joe from one of the few ‘good’ trainers out there, my friend Ramsey. I learned the palms-in trick by asking and reading…and testing.
That’s how you learn: not by attending classes, using recall (the lowest form of learning) to pass a test, and then handing dumbbells off for a living. I have two degrees, but I learned more about music and philosophy by reading and playing on my own than I ever did in college.
Great trainers, and you KNOW who you are: God bless you. This industry needs you, and so do the people you’re helping daily.
Crappy trainers: they’re always hiring at the post office. You will not be able to rely on superior genetics (which few even realize they have), so good luck with that whole sorting gig.
Posted on Nov 01, 2005 12:35 AM
Elisa said:
Janet, I’m with you! I’m doing it!! I am around 19-20% BF and WILL be around 13% by June of 2006. I am down from 25% (since Feb/March 2005) so I’m pretty jazzed!
My body tends to lose body fat rather slowly in comparison to some but is trending toward adding muscle more quickly - a bonus! I love this blog - it’s an awesome way to stay inspired as the weather cools, running outside is frosty and nasty (when it rains) and getting to the gym on those grim days can require just this kind of motivation…..
1/2 a pound down this week - I can wear a pair of pants comfortably that I couldn’t button a month ago. NICE……
Hope to see more of your blogging and hear how you are progressing as the 10 in 10 moves on…
Posted on Nov 02, 2005 02:36 PM
Elisa said:
Jon: How about Lance Armstrong? He’s on the President’s council to stop obesity in the youth population… saw it online somewhere. He’s in your home state and everything. He would probably be interested in sponsoring the camp….just a thought
Posted on Nov 02, 2005 02:38 PM
Jon Benson said:
Lance is on my “Top 10 People To Meet and Have Din-Din With” list. Funny thing: Shawn Phillips (friend of mine and brother of Bill, author of “Body For Life”) called me yesterday. He mentioned that he had Bono, Oprah and Lance all either on the phone or in person at the same time discussing this VERY subject. How wild, since Bono and Oprah are also on that top 10 list!
Law of Attraction, baby…I’m a phone call away. Or two. : )
Posted on Nov 02, 2005 11:45 PM
Gypsi said:
Can we scream emotions? It is what I feel everytime I think of the road soooo far ahead… so much to lose… and at 1 or 2 lbs a week? ugh! So overwhelming… Jon, you had mentioned you were obese.. or did I read that wrong?? Do you have a site somewhere with a blog of your journey?? to the fantastic you now?
Well, at least I am moving more now.. Making a longer trip to the job by way of walking from one side of the parking garage to the door… the building itself is huge.. so lots of walking there..
I have to go slow because of the weight I need to lose.. doing too much too fast has given me major chest pains when I try cardio.. can’t breath… chest flip flops.. feels like my heart is just flipping out of my chest… then I am in pain for weeks ..in my chest and lungs..
This Gazzell I have sitting next to me screaming for me to use it will be getting a work out itself within the next weeks..
Posted on Nov 09, 2005 10:21 PM
Jon Benson said:
To Gypsi…IMPORTANT
First, you need to make an appointment at Landry and have a Balke Stress Test (or at least a standard stress test) done. The symptoms you’re describing may be simple VO2-max issues, but they don’t sound good. Please, tell me you’re going to do this. Not to ‘scare’ you; quite the opposite. To find out ‘now’ is much better than finding out when you reach your maker. Let me know that you’ll have this done…rule out any underlying heart condition before you endeavor to exericse, and that goes for ‘everyone’ on this blog.
Second, 1-2/week is exactly the opposite of overwhelming. 10 pounds a week is overwhelming, impossible, and downright stupid to attempt. Stick with 10 in 10. Do the math and you’ll find out that you’ll be there shortly…unless you’re planning on going somewhere between now and then.
No? Good…you’re in girl.
I want this to sound just a simple as it is: 1 pound per week of sheer fat. “Easy” and “simple” not to be confused…but definitely not “overwhelming.”
I want the results of your stress test…and insist on thalium, and on a VAP test as well. Rule out any possibility, okay?
Posted on Nov 09, 2005 10:27 PM
Gypsi said:
Last time I went to the Dr. I had alot of tests run.. Even had to wear this monitor all day and all night to make sure my heart was doing what it was supposed to.. they told me there was nothing abnormal with me.. This was when I was even thirty lbs heavier.. Gonna Write the names of these tests done tho. Do not have insurance at the moment so they may have to wait some.. will promise to take it slow and easy tho… I know my limits at the moments.. Walking seems to be my best bet now along with maybe stability ball and some weights I have.. Now that I have found a better way to eat for me… I figure I will lose easier and be much more healthy. Just the short bit of walking I have done so far has helped the breathing alot.. I need alot more.. but am working up to it.. Like my post in another day of your blog.. I ahve had kids and have been lazy since.. Soooo I have to be patient.. I am now on the right track and with motivation and my new way of life eating wise.. I will be fine… Can ya tell I don’t like Dr.s Anyway thanks for being kind and caring… I have three little angels that need me so I do not plan on going anywhere anytime soon.. the oldest grandchild is my motivator too.. loves to exercise with me and tells ME when I am not eating right ( one of the down days)
Posted on Nov 10, 2005 12:31 AM
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