What’s wrong with Richard Simmons?
So, I’m in the gym today…no, REALLY. Swear. Did it. Not dizzy, either. Kinda cool. 20 minutes, a bit of cardio, and I was right back to eating and writing. I know, it’s wuss compared to my workouts from last year, but (again) give me 4-6 weeks. I’ll scare the pants off of you.
Speaking of missing pants, what’s wrong with Richard Simmons?
Nothing. In fact, I’ll confess something to you: I really admire the man for what he’s done for obesity and some really hurting people. Do I think he’s a nutritional guru? No. Buff? Hardly. But he has my respect because he took an idea, a way of relating to a certain segment of people, and gave them decent tools to work with. Plus he’s obviously in love with both his silly shorts and his not-so-silly (well, kinda silly) workout and nutrition plans.
So why oh WHY did I utter the following phrase to myself in the gym today? My god, I’m weaker than Richard Simmons! Well, partially it was to crack myself up and distract me from the fact I couldn’t do ‘two’ dips with just my body weight. (As a frame of reference, I would normally do dips for sets of 12 after chest work. If I did them prior, I’d use an 80-lb dumbbell strapped to my waist.)
Will I be back there shortly? Hu-ah! (Pacino, Scent Of A Woman). Will I enjoy the journey? Indubitably! (Gilliam, Monty Python And The Holy Grail).
Does it suck temporarily feeling like a weak-ass girly man? What the *%&# do you think?? (I made that one up myself from watching gritty New York street stories on TV. Not really…)
So, “girly-man”, “weak”, “a..” (oh, I’m playing)…Richard Simmons!
That was wrong of me on multiple levels of ‘wrong’. I hereby apologize for the utterance.
Why am I telling you this other than to get a rise out of ya? Because I want you to hear the truth: first, I said something that was kinda funny, but untrue. So I corrected it quickly in my mind. I know this lack of strength is only momentary. I also know that I respect Richard SImmons. And, no…this was not some homophobic knock. That has nothing to do with it, and frankly PC-minded people should scratch “minded” from that description. Whatever happened to “sticks and stones”?
Here’s the new millennium version:
Sticks and stones may break my bones, and if they do I will see you in court. Even if they don’t, words can emotionally scare my fragile psyche for life, so I will find a way to sue you, your family, the school district you attended, the state you grew up in, and if at all possible, ask you to kiss my boo-boo ‘cause I just fell down and now I go WAAAA…WAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Heh…I’m a terror today. You know, this is funny stuff…are you sure you want to be a nightclub comic? (Moore, Arthur).
Bottom line: the real “PC” damage you do when you say stuff like that is “Psychological Certainty”�. Ah, another Benson trademark. (I owe the government, like, I dunno, a billion or so in trademark fees.)
Psychological Certainty is the ongoing principle of applying ‘truthful thinking’ to your everyday thoughts and self-talk, both inside and out, in order to create a Driving Point� of utter certainty rather than conscious or subconscious ambiguity and dissonance. Whew! That’s a mouthful. I find it’s cathartic to ‘confess’ anything off-base with my true Core Values to someone, so hey…why not the entire freakin’ world, eh? I told you: raw, uncensored and honest. You signed up, so don’t cry to the ACLU.
Humor aside, and listen up because this is important: you must work on being ‘certain’ with your speech and your thoughts. The Simmons thing happened, but it’s more funny than anything else. I’m not a nut. However, statements like, “I’ll be weak forever!”, or “I feel like I’ll never get to…” are not funny, not harmless, and have nothing to do with funny guys in funny shorts. You need to take these thoughts and statements ‘very’ seriously. Root them out like bad weeds in an otherwise fertile garden.
Notice my (somewhat obtuse, forgive me pastor) bolded statement. There’s a key ‘secret’ code word in there you should always use when describing feelings that you dislike. Temporarily. It is temporary. You are “temporarily” carrying more body fat than you desire. You are ‘not’ FAT. You cannot BE fat, as I say over and over again in M-Power, you can only carry fat. You are “not” a loser, even though you may have lost X, Y, or Z.
And, I’m not a girly-man just because my tricep muscles haven’t been used in months to their normal capacity. And Richard Simmons is okay…I think. His shorts really do need to go (have I mentioned that?), and I’d really dig it if he’d shed 10 with us, but you go…Richard. Just tune into an NBA game and take a fashion clue my man.
My chest not only feels a bit sore, but 10 pounds lighter…hey, 10 pounds!!
Thursday, October 27th
- My Workout Plan; Rest about 40 seconds between sets
- Deep breathing for 5 minutes (helps with the hypoxia issues)
- BodyMasters Bench Press: 3x8; 150 pounds (slow, slooooowwww)
- Body-weight dips; 2x2 (don’t laugh or I’ll…SUE!)
- Superset: Pulldowns (120lbs) with Tricep Pushdowns (90lbs); 3x12,8,6
- Treadmill: 1% incline 3.0 mph for 5; flat at 2.5% for 5, cooldown for 4
- My MasterMeal Plan
- MM1: The now infamous Mushroom Chicken and Rice
- MM2: (Post-Workout) Chicken and Yam
- MM3: Beef and broccoli
- MM4: Jon’s Tuna Concoction (with low-carb tortilla instead of bread)
- MM5: TBD
Click here to view my recipes.
I think I’ve said enough to ruin you for a week or so, but I’ll still gab on tomorrow. Oh, and do me a favor: tell everyone you know about this site. Let’s see if we can shift the global climate simply through a massive drop in body fat between now and Jaunary 1st. I’m down another pound…of FAT baby, yeah! (Myers, you-know-what-film.) {10}
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Comments (23)
janine hill said:
Just one request if you would…. the salsa recipe…please . Your muscles will get there but you know sometimes airing the upset actually gets rid of it instead of it festering so go ahead and get it off your chest…(excuse the pun)
Posted on Oct 27, 2005 07:29 PM
Jon Benson said:
Actually I’m not upset…I’m thrilled that I could train without the symptoms I faced for the past year and a half, albeit like a ‘girlie-man’…just thought the topic was funny.
Salsa: it’s home-made by my chef’s sister, so I’ll have to get it from her. If you’re referring to the Mushroom Chicken, it’s in the recipies blog. Any salsa would work, but I do like the taste of this, and it’s fresh. Speaking of which, I’m gonna eat!
Posted on Oct 27, 2005 07:51 PM
Steve Ingram said:
Hi Jon,
This is actually related to something I read
on day 1… but who goes back and re-reads the questions? :)
It’s actually (at this moment), related to your last entry on the Q/A at the bottom of:
http://www.10in10challenge.com/archives/bring_it_on_baby.php
I noticed you say “Second, take 1,000mg/day of magnesium.”, but when I look on the back of a ‘standard’ vitamin supplement container, it says 100mg is 25% of a daily requirement. I know we’d just pee out the ‘extra’ but I just wondered if there was something specific about magnesium that made you single it out, er.. specifically? :)
cheers
steve
Posted on Oct 28, 2005 03:03 AM
Elizabeth said:
I’m sure this has happened to everybody at one point or another. Just wanted to share my boo-boo and my plan to avoid it in future. I come in an hour early so I can take lunch 10-12 and run the roads near work (saves travel time) Well, I’m a SQL DBA (computer geek) and when the server’s acting up - I don’t go *anywhere* until it’s rocking and rolling again. Yesterday something came up right before 10. I figured it would only take an hour so I held off on my meal so I could run semi-fasting … well all-of-a-sudden it’s noon and I still haven’t run and haven’t eaten … my stomach was growling, but I knew I would be finished in 15-20 minutes so I held off … I hit a time warp or something because suddenly it was 2:15 and I had already worked 8 hours, hadn’t eaten since my protein oatmeal at 6:30am and needed to run (and EAT!!) before I went out at 6pm. Well, I got out of work, ran my 7 miles, ate a chicken salad, went out, got home at 10, helped my kids with a project until midnight - got up this morning with barely enough time to dress so no meals packed… SO what am I going to do about it??? Number one - this weekend I’m going to make up a bunch of salmon-broccoli-rice casserole, portion and freeze to keep at work so I always have something to eat here. Number Two - in case of future work snafu(s) I’ll eat as soon as I realize I’m going to be late getting out at 10 and then just wait 2-3 more hours, and run later, even after work if I have to. I’ve already run the flexing-schedule thing past my boss and he said it was fine with him. Like my gramma says:
IF YOU FAIL TO PLAN - YOU PLAN TO FAIL!!!
Posted on Oct 28, 2005 08:08 AM
Clare said:
Hi Jon,
You lift how much!?!? I started weights this week with dumbbells,using the tiniest ones 0.5kg.actually thought about using just the handles. But then again I’ve already lost an inch off my waist in 4 days, so I’m happy. I expect the daily double cardio is helping. I’m in Darwin, Australia for my first monsoonal season, so the main challenge is exercising when the humidity is ‘low’ say below 90%. Enjoy your cool weather.
Oh I thought the other day Tom Venuto and/or you might consider a kid’s page.Childhood obesity is a major problem here, and I believe there too. You make me laugh so kids will probably think you’re hilarious. Gotta be better than the medico misery approach.
Clare
Posted on Oct 28, 2005 09:07 AM
Trinity said:
I’m really enjoying your tips, especially the meals - although you eat much more than I can.
Just wanted to say that a knee injury and the subsequent surgery (on 10/14 - just two weeks ago) has actually jump-started my 10 in 10 (good timing). I took the time off work to start taking better care of what I eat and how much (I knew I would have to with the lost gym time) and got my home “gym” in order and did lots of upper body while I was off my knee. I had the same surgery, other knee, a few years ago and did not plan so well. I gained a few back then. But this time, in two weeks I can see and feel the difference (and the calipers see it).
I’m already back on the knee somewhat, but I am taking your advice and hitting more weights. I’m FINALLY learning — Food is the King! And I am starting to feel the difference cutting out MSG and chemicals can make!
Thanks - I’m in it for 10 and then some!
Posted on Oct 28, 2005 10:29 AM
anna said:
hello
Yesterday I was planning to have this great day only the late afternoon didn’t work out so great. I should just prepak my meals on Sundays for the whole week so i will not fall into the trap of having virtually nothing ready “good” to eat.
I have been working out for few years but after i had my baby (4 years ago now) i just seem unable to concentrate positively on my goals. A year ago I bought a body for life book and tried my best to stick to the workout and all but really didn’t see much improvement. Now I am going to the gym and doing an hour to an hour and a half of full body workout and i alternate this with cardio every second week.
jon do you think that the idea of doing a full body workout in one day is a good one or should i go back to alternating from upper to lower body workouts.
the full body workout in 70 min is a challenge as i found out so it hikes my heart rate pretty good.
What do you think?
Posted on Oct 28, 2005 11:38 AM
Jon Benson said:
TO THE GROUP:
This is a long reply, but consider this a blog inside a blog, okay? It’s worth the read because (a) it’s controversial; (b) it deals with childhood obesity and our responsibility; and (c) it’s funny…and it lists deities you’ve probably never heard of. There’s also good stuff about the FDA and supplements in this diatribe. Enjoy.
To Steve:
You mean…you…wha?….actually started at “day 1”?? Like the instructions say?? What’s wrong with you man? No one does that…
Ah, Steve and I are email buds now, so he gets the joke. Actually, ‘everyone’ who, let’s say, just found 10 in 10 should start from day 1. That’s the point of the blog really. I mean, let’s say you had 50 pounds to shed and you stared on Day 134. You’d think I was Superman. And I am. I actually am Clark Kent, from Krypton, and dating Kristin Kreuk I MEAN Lana Lang.
Wha…what?? Sorry, I fell asleep. Where was I going with all of that again? Oh, right…read the instructions (rules) and start from the start. You’ll be glad you did and so will your optometrist.
Now, if I can get just a FEW of you to laugh, I’ll feel whole and complete. : ) Actually, this has to be the only blog this side of Planet X that has ‘nothing’ but serious replies and people who really are focused on the topic, so kudos to you all! I’ll be the strange one, and you can just watch the monkey in the cage and wonder if he’s really ‘that’ different than you are…heh. I just made that up. And that. And that. And that. (Peter Griffin, Family Guy, but only that last bit… : )
Oh crimminies…THE ANSWER…
About the RDA limits: they’re based on a 156-pound sedentary 55-year-old.
No joke.
Even then, they’re absurd. Ask any naturopathic doc: almost everyone is magnesium-depleted due to the soil and lack of magnesium-rich foods.
They said the same thing about Linus Pauling and his 10,000 mg/C per day regimen for years, later upped to over 20,000. He tested his pee: contained about 600mg of C on average.
That’s a bit over what’s recommended…as in 10 freakin’ times over.
Great sources for nutrients is Dr. Keller (husband/wife) and the book, “The Carbohydrate Addict’s Heart Healthy Handbook” (I think that’s the title.)
Tons of others..too many to list, but being a nutritionist I use my own data as well. 2,000 mg/day of magnesium has got people of meds…I’ll put it that way. A lot of trial and error.
To Elizabeth:
Now THAT is a boo-boo I consider kissable—not a PC “it’s someone else’s fault…waaaa…WAAAAA” thing like in my blog. Granted, mine’s funnier, but…way TO GO. Really. First, the plan was awesome, but the timing had you a bit derailed. Even then, you took responsibility and even planned ahead to deal with it! Excellent…role model of the week on 10, ladies and gents.
To Clare:
Your last name isn’t “Forlani” is it? If so, will you marry me? Heh…always had a thing for Claire Forlani…I mean, as an actress. You know, she’s really, really talented. “Meet Joe Black” and all…really!! Okay, to the question, and OH, IT’S A GOOD ONE…LOOK EVERYONE AT THE ALL-CAPS…LOOOOOOKKK….READ THIS:
There.
First, weight is relative. I’m a weak-ass girly man to ‘me’ right now, but only for a few weeks or so. Even at my peak of strength, I’ve seen guys with legs the size of my arms squat more than I can, and my best friend (that blasted midget) can bench 417 at a body weight of 190…natural, no suit, no belt, no nothing. So, yeah…strong.
Then you have Larry Allen who bench presses 600 pounds, but puts another 100 on the bar, bounces it off his chest, and has 20 other Cowboy players help him get the weight racked. Still…STRONG. Very, very strong.
Then we have you. Guess what? Your muscles have ‘no idea’ if that’s 7 pounds or 700…they only know how intense the contraction is, and whether or not it’s a greater amount than they’re accustomed to. Assuming intensity and progression, you need not worry about numbers. Cool?
Second, childhood obesity…already on it. Last year I came up with a concept called Camp Nobesity™. First, “fat camp” has to be the absolute WORST name for a kid’s camp that anyone could dream up. What did these guys do…hire the sons of HITLER to name this? Sounds like a freakin’ torture chamber. Also, remember…you get what? Only what you focus on. When I say, “RED”, what comes to mind? I could say, “Don’t think of RED…” and you will still think of red. Yes, you will. People may lie to themselves, but God is watching (yes yes, so is Allah, Brahman, Nanook, Mirtha, Thor, Tabaldak, Wéland, Haile Selassie of Ethiopia, Xi Wangmu, Geb, Thanit, Mbaba Mwana Waresa…and all other deities not aforementioned just in case I offended anyone who doesn’t believe in God….as in Jehovah God. What most Westerners call their God or deity…oh forget it. I’m a Deist, so I’m like the Canada of Religion.)
Ray, if you read that, you best reply with due wit.
Buddha, where was I? (That’s something you never hear…ever notice that?)
Kid’s camp. Yeah. “Nobesity”. Funny, cute, message, etc. I’m not fond of “No”, but until I come up with something better, there you have it. At least you’re not focused on FAT as in “FAT Camp”. Geez…what loon would think of that?
So, the goal is to open the first camp in 2007. There’s a…unique twist to this however. Wanna hear it?
You wanna? Sure you do.
Damn, I have to be the best replier of any blogger on the web. Is there an award for that, too?? : )
At my camp, the parents have to attend. What, do you think kids learned to eat like barnacles from watching plants sprout? NO! From their parents. Nine out of ten kids report they learned their eating habits from their parents, and that 10th kid should be spanked for lying.
Folks, obesity is an self-induced epidemic in the United States. Nothing short of it. And, our children have suffered: 400% increase in obesity in just two decades.
So, the parents attend the camp. We will have two sections: one for parent who can afford to take 8 weeks off work and hang for the entire time, and another for those who can only come on the weekends. No matter, come they will, or Junior can’t. Those are the rules, and we enforce them…with this riffle. Kidding.
We will teach mom and dad the principles of 10 in 10. How to cook. How to ‘think’ and ‘talk’ to change the patterns that have them chained to their children’s whims (yep, I hear it all the time: “Well, Sally was crying for McDeaths, so…” Hey Sally…NO. NOOOOO. Worked for me as a kid…my dad said “no” plenty of times. Yep, we’ll breach all protocols and tell people how to raise their kids, torque some off, and get sued.
So what. We’ll be on Oprah, and generate a ton of press for the cessation of pandering to both the parents (“It’s not your fault…”) and the kids (“I wanna Happy Meal!!!!”) No more pandering. It’s not worth it. Let’s have FUN (yes, that’s more than possible) and get lean at the same time. Let’s REMOVE this ridiculous notion that “Fat is okay and should be accepted as an alternative lifestyle…” Bullsh…ip in a bottle. Excess body fat is worthless fuel and linked to almost every disease on earth. Fat is not an issue of ‘aesthetics’, but of mental and physical disorder. Pull your head out if you think fat is fine…and get off my blog! It’s not. Neither is the opposite…vanity and obsession over the body. They’re both minions of the monsters, and we will nuke ‘em into the stone age.
You can be lean, healthy, and not obsessed. Yes. You.
Rant over…actually, the “Nobesity” rant is just beginning. Hold on to your hats…or put one on then hold on to it.
To Trinity:
Great news about the food revelations…and hey, you WILL recover, just as I did. Of course I eat more than you girl…I can probably curl you for reps. : ) Keep up the good work, and welcome!!
Posted on Oct 28, 2005 12:10 PM
Jon Benson said:
To Anna:
Full body workouts are ‘excellent’…and highly underrated. They’ve built great physiques, let alone really good ones, so by all means, go for it. Just be sure not to do more than three workouts in a week and alternate movements. You can get by with Mondays and Thursdays (or similar spreads) for your workouts as well. Push hard for just a set or two, then move on to the next exercise. Keep a log and be sure you’re progressing.
Hiking is excellent as long as you keep it up for 45 minutes or longer without stopping.
Posted on Oct 28, 2005 12:13 PM
Ray said:
The Canada of religion. Heh.
Ah, nevermind.
Ha.
Posted on Oct 28, 2005 12:49 PM
anna said:
Jon
the more I read the blogs and the responses that you give, the more I like you and your wicked sense of humor.
It is great to have somebody just tell you how it is with a twist of humor in it.
I think that I have found here something that i have been looking for, for a long time.
Ok enough sentimentals - it is lunch time and off to gym I go:) and burn baby burn :) :) ( I really don’t have a good sense of humor :) )
Posted on Oct 28, 2005 01:05 PM
Jon Benson said:
Hey, I made Anna laugh! Cool! ; ) Thanks Anna…”wicked” is a scary word. “Pithy”, “ingenious”, and “plagiarized” are all acceptable descriptions…
Posted on Oct 28, 2005 01:12 PM
Jon Benson said:
I see my webmaster ‘does’ read me…then again, he’s paid off. That silly Cannnnoooook.
BTW: To all Canadians. I’m moving there soon. I love your country. All my money goes to Canada. I also love the US of A, so please…no one bomb me. My dad fought in WWII…can you believe that? He was my hero, and I miss him. May God bless the Greatest Generation.
Posted on Oct 28, 2005 01:14 PM
Alicia said:
Janine,
Homemade Salsa is really easy. Take an Iron or nonstick skillet and heat on medium. Brown some whole tomatoes, onion, garlic cloves and Jalapenos, meaning cook them while turning them as each side blackens. You don’t have to chop anything. I cut up thick slices of of onion and garlic cloves (or just use garlic powder) and brown my tomato and Jalapenos whole then I plop it all in a blender (again without chopping) with some cilantro, cumin spice, garlic powder (if you didn’t use fresh garlic) salt and pepper to taste. Don’t over do it with the cumin. Simple really.
Ladies and Gents,
It looks like a lot of you are having the same problem I have had for the last 3 weeks when I started my 10 in 10 and because of it I’m pretty much still at point A… actually I’ve gained a pound though my diet is clean (yet too many calories) and I’ve been killing myself at the Gym every morning at 5am!!!! Doesn’t matter, it’s my learning curve and I’m still getting closer to my goal. Ok I’m rambling worse than Jon. (j/k Jon) My problem has been not finding/taking the time to fix my meals ahead of time and doing the calorie & micronutrient counting. I found a great place today that I’m totally psyched about! They cook nutrious meals and you can choose which protein and which carb you want or you can get just the protein or just the carb. The calories and micronutrients (carbs,fats,protiens) are calculated as well! I’ve done the math and it turns out cheaper than what I’m currently doing that isn’t working anyway! I’m thinking this can’t be exclusive to my city. I had to hunt around for this place because they don’t advertise. Maybe you guys can find something similiar in your area. Just thought I would put that out there for those of us that are finding it difficult to make the time to prepare our meals. Jon also suggested running an ad in your local paper and finding someone that you can cut a deal with to cook your meals for you. Doesn’t have to be a professional Chef, just someone that can cook and needs the extra cash. Which was what I was going to do had I not found this place. Thanks Jon!
And John your humor does make me smile even if it is plagiarizing. Ha!
Posted on Oct 28, 2005 03:22 PM
Lee said:
They do a kind of Camp Nobesity here is Switzerland, including the parents attending. Not a sleepover type thing but meeting once a week for a certain number of weeks. Hope you can get something started stateside!
Posted on Oct 28, 2005 03:56 PM
anna said:
jon
you see I used “wicket” because of haloween - you see that is how my humor works…:)
WOW, WOW, WOW I went to the gym and I was doing my chest press with my 15lbs and I am thinking “why is this so light? did I take the wrong weights?” well it turns out I needed to add some more - was i surprised :)
What a great day overall - i hope i can keep this up
Jon you are more than welcome to come to canada - I live in Edmonton which is not the greatest but we have the biggest mall in the world The West Edmonton Mall - great shopping but this is where it ends. Vancuver on the other hand is great- you have ocean and mountains in one place.
Anyway i will try to get through the weekend with my spirits up and my first weigh in will be on Monday.
Posted on Oct 28, 2005 04:04 PM
Jon Benson said:
To Anna:
No, you will not. You will NOT ‘try’ or ‘hope’…YOU WILL!! You will keep this up. You will coast through the weekend with your spirits rockin’. You ‘will’. Try those words as often as possible.
Canada is beautiful…love it!
Posted on Oct 28, 2005 05:09 PM
Jean said:
Hey Jon, you’ll have to learn to use the word “eh” more (yes it is a word ….. I think….. well, pretty sure eh)
I can say that because I live in Canada
And here’s to you opening up nobesity camps all over the place, good thinking!
Posted on Oct 28, 2005 05:32 PM
Jon Benson said:
Oh, right eh. Forgot about that. Bag Bacon will do that to you, you know? Eh? : ) I say it more than the average Texan. Thanks Jean!
Posted on Oct 28, 2005 05:41 PM
janine hill said:
Thanks for the recipe Alicia ,I will give it a whirl.
Posted on Oct 29, 2005 05:55 AM
Renee said:
I have a fond memory myself of Richard Simmons. Back in the 80’s I worked for him as an aerobics instructor at the Anatomy Asylum. He was my first teacher on fitness, and I guess he will always have a special place in my heart as he taught me compassion for all people. At that time I was not struggling with my weight and didn’t understand what it could feel like to live as an obese person. He had such compassion and made a huge difference for so many people I saw directly. I am sure that he wears those shorts proudly just to get the sort of response he does. He is a wiz at marketing, and weirdness sells I guess. What I love about your blogs Jon is your sincerity and openess to share what goes through your mind. It has helped me so much to understand that we really aren’t that different, and that for the most part small changes or tweaks is all that is necessary to stay on task. Thanks so much.
Posted on Oct 29, 2005 05:51 PM
KEN said:
HEY JON
let them call me girly-man week two of m-power 44 years old. Got a ways to go. starting at walking and restiance training. work 14 hours a day ill make it over the hump thanks to you. I’m 6’4 and over 300 not many callin me girly-man but its scary how weak I have become. But thanks to you and your role models and people in the blog. I’ll be there.
Big Thanks Jon
Posted on Oct 29, 2005 09:24 PM
Jon said:
Ken;
There’s only room for one girly-man on this form, and I’m parked in the spot…for another 4-6 weeks. Then someone else can gladly take it. : )
Posted on Oct 30, 2005 10:05 PM
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